


No Hetero, Tho

by Bookworm4567



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Play, Broken up Chaggie, F/M, Masturbation, Previous SpiderMoth, Saunas are sexy, Straight Sex, Vaggie and Angel suck at being gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:28:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm4567/pseuds/Bookworm4567
Summary: Vaggie and Angel get sexy in a sauna. Thats it, thats the fic. Enjoy!
Relationships: Angel Dust/Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 108





	No Hetero, Tho

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally going to put this in my Broken series but decided against it, but I couldn't bring myself to delete it so here ya go! Enjoy my pervy imagination :)

_"Aah...oh...uh..._ fucking dammit!"

Vaggie withdrew her hand with a huff. You would think that after the week she'd had that she would at least be granted the curtosey of getting off, but apparently not! She'd tried every imaginary scenario she could think off-Overlord Velvet, Cherri Bomb, even Jennifer Lawerence-but nothing seemed to hold her interest, her mind too wrapped up in its frustrations of the week, and now she couldn't fucking sleep.

Vaggie thumped a hand against the mattress. Dammit, she needed some fucking sleep. She needed to _relax._ Maybe some tea or a good book or...

Or.

Wait a sec. Didn't Charlie say that she'd just finished having the new sauna installed? Hell, she hadn't been in one of those since she was alive, but she remembered how at ease and sleepy they made her feel. She remembered getting lucky in a few of them, actually.

With a soft, nostalgic smile she got out of bed, grabbed a large fluffy black towel and wriggled out of her white silk nightie. She thought about grabbing her bathing suit but changed her mind, settling for wrapping the towel around her naked body for modesty. It wasn't like it mattered, who was going to be awake at this time of night?

*

Angel Dust was fucking bored and fucking horny. You would think, between shoots and johns that he would be getting plenty, but no. The johns were fucking useless and he was usually concentrating so hard on looking good and getting his moves right that every orgasm was hollow. 

Long story short, the porn star/hooker was fucking frustrated. Normally it would've been nothing to go out and get some good nookie, but he was on house arrest since a certain incident (that wasnt even his fault! Cherri needed a place to stash some bombs, how the Hell was he supposed to know they were faulty?! And it was HIS room that got blown up, anyway WHAT was that blonde bitches problem?!) 

Angel sighed, leaning back against his fluffy pink pillows. No-one in the hotel would fuck him. Porn was always an option, but not really what he was looking for...

Fuck it, he'd just go jack off in the new sauna, that always chilled him out. Standing up he stripped off and grabbed a towel. He didn't see the point of his bathing suit, it just made his balls sweaty.

He still put on a pair of sauna socks, though, just in case. You never knew what kinda weirdos were wandering around in the middle of the night!

*

Vaggie leaned back against the tiled wall and let out a long, tensionless sigh as she felt every muscle in her body unwind into gooey jello. Oh yeah, this was what she needed, man this was a good idea!

She closed her eye, feeling all the stress of the hellish week slip away into the steam. The soft weight of her pinned hair was comfortable against her neck, if a little damp, and her body was as warm as though she were wrapped in a big fluffy blanket. Taking a deep breath, she sighed softly as she unwound the towel from her body-no-one was in here, what did it matter?-and she felt a little shiver as her body was exposed to the small, steamy room. 

This was nice, this was good. If she wasn't careful she would probably fall asleep here...

Moving absent mindedly, her hands lifted to rest on her thighs, and to her surprise she felt a small tingle between her legs. Of course, her skin was so sensitive from the heat...

 _Maybe I can get off after all,_ she thought, actually considering it for a brief moment. But no, that was gross, wasn't it? Clearly she had watched Personal Best too many times.

...Although now her right hand was moving across her thigh, and the heat between her legs was growing into a small but persistent throb. Her mind was hazy from the relaxing steam, and before she could even think of the reasons why she shouldn't her hand had slipped between her legs.

She gasped. Tilting her head back, she ran a finger up her sensitive folds and moaned at the sweet tingle that ran up her core.

Vaggie deliberated, then shrugged mentally. Fuck it, who was going to-?

"Evenin'!"

Vaggies eye flew open and she frantically covered herself with her towel as she looked up to see who had interrupted her "Angel?!"

The porn star stood in the open doorway-how had she not heard that?!-steam billowing out of the sauna around him. He wore nothing but a short pink towel around his waist, socks on his feet and a shit eating grin "Enjoyin' the facilities, huh?"

"Sh-shut-up!" Vaggie snapped, blushing furiously she resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands. Oh God, this was so embarrassing! He was never going to let her live this down, was he?

Angel shrugged, closing the door behind him and walking inside "Hey, its not like I aint seen it all before, toots, don't freak"

Vaggie glared at him, still blushing. God, did he have to remind her of _that?_ It was _one time!_ She had just broken up with Charlie, he was there and they were drunk! She opened her mouth to say something back, but it was cut off by a choke when Angel, rather shamelessly, whipped off his towel and revealed that he was wearing _absolutely nothing underneath!_

"Jesus Christ, seriously?"

Angel frowned as he sat down on the opposite bench, not bothering to close his legs "What?"

Vaggie huffed "You are such an ass..."

"Why not? Its a great ass!"

She rolled her eyes and wrapped her towel more securely around her. 

"So what's got ya down here this late, bitch? Ain't it past your bedtime?"

Vaggie huffed. So much for relaxing..."I couldn't sleep" she muttered, trying not to look at him. Goddammit, how could he just sit there with his dick hanging out like that?! Sure, like he said, it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before (ONCE!) but still!

"Heh! How about that, me neither. What a pair we make, eh?"

From the corner of her eye she saw his leg move and was unintentionally compelled to follow the action, getting a good look at his bare body through the diminished steam.

It was pretty much the same as last time. Long, slender limbs leading to heart patterned chest fluff that had already grown damp beneath the steam. She could see his nipples through it, dark pink and small. She continued to look, past his toned belly and down to his spread legs where his dick hung limply between his generous thighs, soft, but still a light shade of purple, hiding the vagina that came along with it. Vaggie felt a flare between her own thighs, reminding her of the task she never got to finish.

_Oh come on! Really?!_

Movement caught her eye and she saw one of Angels hands stroke across his thigh, inching nearer and nearer to the organ between his legs. Vaggies chest tightened, and that damnable throb became harder to ignore.

"See somethin' ya like, baby?" said a husky voice.

Vaggie looked up with a small gasp and saw Angel staring at her, his eyes dark and smile wicked. Oh God, she wanted to hit herself she had been fucking _ogling him what the_ fuck?!

"I..." cheeks burning, she looked away, tugging her towel harder against herself and trying to ignore the way the soft fabric rubbed against her now pebbled nipples. She heard Angel snicker "Shut-up!"

Angel sniggered again "Hey, no-one would blame ya! Like I said, everybody wants summa me, baby..." after another titter during which Vaggie fantasized for him a slow and painful death, he asked "So, how longs it been?"

She scowled "What?"

"Since ya last got some. Have ya even gotten laid since you and Lottie broke up?"

Vaggie felt a stab of humiliation burn her cheeks. She refused to look at Angel or answer him. Truth be told, she hadn't had sex since Charlie. Dating was still a far off prospect for her, she wasn't ready. Not looking at him she shook her head.

Angel clicked his tongue against his teeth "Yeah, I figured"

With a snarl she whipped her head around "Don't you _ever_ -what the hell are you doing?"

Angel had risen and walked across the small room to her side, his towel left on the opposite bench as he lowered himself, completely naked, down to sit beside her. He crossed his legs, his lower hands resting on those shapely thighs as one of the top arms came to lay across the low back of the bench, very close to where Vaggie sat.

"I could help ya, y'know..." he said, his tone low as his hand came up to play with the edge of her towel, and Vaggies treacherous body throbbed again as the tone immediately brought back memories...

"W-what?!" Oh, that was fucking intelligent.

Angel shrugged, curling his fingers into the towel "Why not? Ain't like we haven't done it before, baby"

"B-but...what-" was the fucking steam messing with her head or something?! All of a sudden her body felt way hotter than before and as Angels grip tightened on the towel she felt certain areas growing hot and her skin more sensitive. One burning question kept her relatively sane, though "Why? You're gay!"

Angel shrugged "So are you and it didn't stop either of us, before. And I'm horny too, so..."

Ah, that explained it. After the bomb incident which left Crymini and Baxter in the infirmary and Angels room blown to smithereens he wasn't allowed out, so he was trying to use her. Oddly, this thought didn't outrage her like it should've, but only made the heat grow hotter.

 _Maybe I can use him, too..._ God, she wanted to get off so bad, and she remembered what he could do with that long tongue of his...

Looking up she met his eyes, and knew the desire must've been plain on her face from the way Angels heterochromic gaze darkened and his smile grew. She lowered her hands from her towel, and with one pull Angel had removed it from her body and tossed it behind him to the sauna floor.

For a moment they both just sat there, looking at each others naked bodies through the diminishing steam. Vaggies skin felt hypersensitive under his gaze, her nipples pebbled tight against her breasts and her core already slick and burning. When Angel slid his tongue over his lips, that warm, pink muscle moving oh so slowly, she broke.

Sue launched herself into his arms and kissed him hard.

Angel rocked back but quickly recovered, he wrapped both sets of arms around Vaggies back and pulled her harshly into his lap, forcing her legs to spread around his waist as he crushed her body against his, her breasts pressing against his chest and her core directly above his warm cock.

Vaggie moaned, her arms were wrapped around his neck and her fingers slid into his hair, holding him in place. Oh God, his lips were just as soft as she remembered, so tender, so _good!_ She whined as his tongue parted her lips, and gasped softly as he stroked her tongue with his, the warm, wet feeling electrifying her. Already she could feel him rising, and she ground her wet core against it.

Angel groaned against her mouth and his hand came up to cup the back of her head, twisting into her hair. He rocked his hips into hers, the pressure of his cock so delicious and good that Vaggie cried out into the kiss and drove the fingernails of her other hand into his back. Angel, ever the masochist, groaned and pulled Vaggie harder against him, and she felt one hand slip between her legs and _oh!_

Her eye rolled into the back of her head when two of Angels fingers slid through her wetness and into her, pumping gently. Too gently. She ground against him, wanting it harder, but instead his fingers withdrew completely and Vaggie opened her eye, about to vitriolically complain, but then they were moving.

Vaggie pulled away as Angel twisted and gently lowered her to the ground. The cool tiles against her hot skin made her shiver pleasurably, and she couldn't help but squirm a little as Angel situated himself on top of her. His long white fringe was hanging over his large black eye and he was panting softly, his lips dark and swollen. It was all so similar to that night, so familiar, Vaggie couldn't help but laugh a little, and Angel cocked his head "What?"

Still smiling, Vaggie wrapped her arms back around his neck "Nothing, just...how come we keep ending up like this?" she giggled softly, and Angel smiled.

"Maybe because you're real horny and I'm real hot?"

"...You _had_ to talk and ruin it"

"Yep! Wanna make out?"

"Get the hell down here!"

He did, and as they kissed he used his lower set of hands to gently push Vaggies legs apart and settle between them, his now full-blown erection settling enticingly against her core. Vaggie made a soft sound, spreading her legs wider and arching up into him. Angel wrapped his upper hands around the back of her head and shoulders and kissed her harder, his head moving to the side and his tongue delving deeply into her mouth. Vaggie made a sound that came deep from the back of her throat and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, bringing his hips hard against hers and grinding her core against her cock as they kissed furiously, Angel sinking his teeth into her bottom lip and making her jerk against him. Her body was trembling, she needed him closer, needed him in her! God she wanted it!

"Angel!" she whined breathlessly, pulling away and he kissed down her sweat damp neck "A-Angel! Angel, please... _please!"_

"Oh, I love it when ya beg..." he grazed his teeth down her neck, sending sparks through her overheated skin and spiralling downwards as he travelled kisses to her chest. She could feel his chest expand against her belly, he was breathing as harshly as her. Hands came up her sides, his fingers tracing her figure and stroking her skin, and Vaggie sighed. Fuck, she loved it when he did-FUCK!

In an instant his hands were on her breasts and squeezing them mercilessly, and Vaggie looked up to see his burning eyes on hers right before he leaned his head down and took a nipple into his mouth.

 _"Oooh!"_ Vaggies hips bucked as Angels hot tongue stroked the pebbled peak, his lips closing around it and sucking harshly. He was rougher than before, making her body burn beneath him as she was washed away by pleasure. It burned hotly within her, making her writhe senselessly, and she almost screamed when he bit her.

"ANGEL! Angel! Fuck! _Por-favor!_ Now! God, fucking now!"

Moving over to the other nipple he gave it the same treatment, and with his lower hands he lifted her legs, shifted his hips, and plunged his cock deep inside her with one hard thrust.

Vaggie threw her head back and screamed, her pussy squeezing around him as he filled her completely. Angel whined at the feeling of her hot tightness, and without hesitation he took her as wildly as an animal, thrusting into her hard over and over again as he clung to her body and bit at her neck and breasts. She wrapped her legs higher around his waist, her body jerking with the force he was pummling her with and gripped his back with her shoulders to pull him into another kiss.

"Jesus, baby..." Angel murmered between those brief seconds they were apart "You're so fuckin' tight, still...so tight around me...so fuckin' good... _fuck!"_

He cried out rapterously when Vaggie dragged her nails down his back, tearing the skin in some places and his cock twitched with pleasure inside her, his moan long and loud. Her hands moved down to cup his ass, to keep him just _there._ He groaned against her lips and then pressed his face against her neck, his ass flexing under her hands. Fuck, he had a tight little ass...

It was then, in her lust-fogged mind, that Vaggie got an idea, her only motive to carry it out being that she knew he would like it.

Removing one hand she brought her fingers to her free lips, and as Angel panted against her neck, his hips punishing against hers as he chased his orgasm, she drew two fingers into her mouth and sucked on them, coating them liberally with saliva. Whining softly as Angels sharp teeth nipped her neck, his hands stroking her sides and scratching her with his nails, she reached back down to his ass and gently pushed her fingers between his cheeks, hitting his opening on the first try.

She got the immense pleasure of Angel gasping against her neck and instinctively bucking back against her hand, his movements slowing. With a grin, Vaggie circled his opening with her slick fingers.

Angel lifting his head to look down at her, and she felt way too smug when she saw the surprise on his face. Vaggie almost couldn't see his irises anymore, his pupils were so wide.

"Hnn...ki-kinky little bitch, ain't ya?"

Leaning up she took her bottom lip into his mouth and bit it.

"Should I stop?" She asked when she let go, circling again and pressing against him. Angels hand tightened in her hair and he licked his lips.

"Fuck no!"

"I thought not." Still grinning, she pressed against his opening again and, this time, slid her finger inside.

"Ah fuck!" Angel cried out, and bucked so hard that Vaggie cried out, too "A-another! Sti-stick another one in-YES!"

Vaggie pushed both fingers in tandem inside of Angel-she was no stranger to anal sex, some of her previous partners had enjoyed it-she moved her fingers the same as she would for a phallic cock, scissoring them inside the porn star and reaching as far as she could, egged on by Angels hot moans against her skin. His hips had begun to move harder again, the sparks of pleasure making it difficult for her to concentrate. Unconsciously she clenched on him, wanting him to go faster, her body screaming-demanding!-an orgasm! She drove her fingers in harder, making the porn star mewl.

"Oh yeah, baby...oh fuck yeah, so good! Aah! Vags! Shit!"

"Harder...fuck, Angel, _harder!_ I'm so close-!"

Angels answering thrust hit her g-spot dead on and she howled as he went back to his punishing pace. She fought to keep her own hand moving too, her movements becoming rougher and uncoordinated as coherency became harder and harder to grasp. Two hands gripped her thighs, spreading them as Angel thrust powerfully into her, his other hands taking both of her wrists and pinning them to the floor. Vaggies hands twitched, the fingers of her right still warm and wet from him. Her head thrashed from side to side as a familiar pressure coiled in her gut, twisting and burning hotter and harder inside her as Angels hard cock drove her insane. 

Vaggie gasped, grunting and crying out as Angel panted and moaned above her. She opened her eye, looking at him. The porn star was completely lost, his head tilted back, his lip caught between his fangs and grunting and cursing as he chased his finish.

"Angel..."

His eyes opened. Their gazes met. And the second those fiery heterchomic eyes touched hers she was gone. Suddenly Vaggie was coming so explosively and completely that she wasn't sure if she screamed, but her mouth hung open in silent euphoria. She squeezed herself hard around Angels cock and heard a harsh Italian curse before she felt warmth bloom inside her, Angel grinding his cock as deep inside as it would go, his hands almost crushing her wrists in his grip as he came, too.

Vaggie moaned at the feeling. Her eyes closed as she relaxed into the tiled floor, her boneless legs slipping off of Angels waist with soft, lazy thuds. Angel himself slumped against her with a huff, his weight oddly easy to take and his body warm against hers. Vaggie smiled deliriously, utterly satisfied and now, finally, _completely_ relaxed.

For a while the two of them lay there, the last vestiges of steam rolling around the pair lazily as they caught their breath. Angels head was pillowed on Vaggies breasts and she was curling her fingers into his hair, twining the damp strands around the slim digits. Her other hand stroked absentmindedly down his back, indulging in the softness of his fluffy fur.

Then she laughed. Angel sluggishly lifted his head and blinked up at her "Ya better not be laughin' at my dick, bitch"

Vaggie laughed again and stroked his hair. She looked down at him with an amused smile "You know...we _really_ suck at being gay"

Angel blinked, then pressed his forehead to her chest as they both burst out laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing with these two.


End file.
